When I told my manager of the events that unfolded during the meeting and my reaction, she told me a story. She said she had a friend who had a dog that didn't like being on a leash. Every time she attempted to put a leash on the dog, he would run around, bark, and try to remove the collar. After one episode, her friend had lost her patience, threw the leash on the ground and walked away. It was then that something strange happened. The dog bent down and placed the end of the leash in his mouth. He immediately calmed down and became attentive. He even listened to instructions. From that moment on, anytime the friend needed to put a leash on the dog; she would give him the end.
What lesson can be learned from this? Sometimes you can have more control by giving it up. Even though the dog thought he was in control because he had the leash, the truth is, he was still wearing the leash. There are many opportunities for leaders to exercise this lesson. These can include meetings as mentioned above, or with a star employee.
Star employees might be your best performers, but they are also your most difficult to manage. If you attempt to control them, they will rebel and usually take most of your other employees with them as well. To restore order you either have to fire the employee or give in to their demands. However, by giving them the end of their "leash" you satisfy their need to control their own destiny, while maintaining the ability to provide direction. This ends up being a winning strategy for all.