This story demonstrates the dilemma that faces all leaders. How do you determine which comes first, yourself or others? Had Miller chose to stay with his wife that day, he would have been present at her death. However, hundreds of families would have been impacted with the loss of their jobs. Families would have lost their homes, children would have lost their opportunities to attend college, and marriages possibly ruined.
As a leader, sacrifices are necessary because what you do and the decisions you make impact others. Yet everyday we are presented with news stories about leaders that are caught being unethical. While their companies are failing and employees are being turned out into the streets, they are paying themselves large bonuses. To them leadership is not a dilemma. The only dilemma is that their companies collapse before they get what they believe rightfully belongs to them.
Books and articles tell us about the importance of having a balanced life. We are told to find hobbies, enjoy time with our families, and look for distractions. This is the Leaders Dilemma, trying to find the balance between self and the obligation to the greater good.
What is the answer to this dilemma? There is no one answer, because this a very personal decision. However, no matter the choice you make as a leader there is going to always be winners and losers. It is unavoidable.
I am reminded of a saying by President Jimmy Carter's late mother, Lillian. After returning from serving in the Peace Corps for two years in India, a 70+ year old Lillian stated, "If I had one wish for my children it would be that each of you would dare to do the things and reach for goals in your own lives that have meaning for you as individuals, doing as much as you can for everybody, but not worrying if you don't please everyone."
In the end that is about all anyone can do. Understand that as a leader it is your responsibility to do all you can to help others. However, realize that your decisions are going to require sacrifices and many times they are sacrifices you have to make personally. No matter the anguish that it causes, as a true leader that is a reality you have to accept and be willing to live with.