There are several reasons behind this disturbing phenomenon. Among these are changes in attitudes about family. Many families don’t do things together any more. We don’t eat at the table; don’t take vacations or even sit down to watch a movie in the family room. We are all so used to doing our own things (playing video games, texting friends, surfing the Net) that we find it hard to stop and enjoy family time.
A change in the workplace is another reason. When I was young, I remember that businesses closed on holidays and on Sundays. Now, more and more businesses are open 365 days a year. Employees are expected to work or to take annual leave to have the day off. Fearful of losing their jobs, many employees accept the inevitable and work. As a 2007 study of 10,000 managers in the United Kingdom discovered, eighty-one percent of managers in the public and private sectors worked more than 40 hours a week.
Finally, the Internet and advancements in mobile technologies like smart phones, wireless cards, and Laptop PCs, allow us to be connected 24/7 and 365 days a year. As a manager in Missouri State Government stated, the line between work and home life has all but disappeared. A survey of 2,500 knowledge workers released in April 2010 by InterCall, the world’s largest conferencing and collaboration services provider, found that nearly one third (30 percent) feel that they need to stay connected to work 24/7, even during weekends, breaks or holidays. They believe if they don’t stay connected to their work during their time off, they may be seen as less committed to their jobs. In this time of economic uncertainty, that could mean the difference between being employed or finding oneself in an unemployment line.
As I observe what is happening to society, I am reminded of the #1 hit, Cat’s in the Cradle, recorded by Harry Chapin in 1974, and later by the band Ugly Kid Joe. The song tells the story from the perspective of a father who is too busy to spend time with his son. He is away when the son is born, away when he learns to walk and talk, and then the father is too busy to teach him to throw a baseball on his birthday. Each time, the son asks when his Dad is coming home. The father replies that he doesn’t know, but that “we’ll get together then, you know we’ll have a good time then.” While the father is worrying about his career, the son continues to mature. As the father nears retirement and eventual does retire, he decides that now he can spend time with his son. However, the son is busy with college, and later with his own family and job. At the end of the song, the father tells his son “I’d like to see, if you don’t mind?” The son replies, “I’d love to dad if I can find the time. You see my new jobs a hassle and the kids have the flu, but its sure nice talking to you Dad. It’s been sure nice talking to you.” It was at that moment that the father realizes he is now the one being left behind.
This song really touched me when I was young, and I have tried my best to remember its message. Like the father, however, I had a brief period after the birth of my son where I thought if I worked hard, and sought advancement that I could provide him with everything he could ever want. This continued after the birth of my daughter six years later. However, that all changed when I nearly lost my life from a ruptured appendix. As I lay in my hospital bed praying that the antibiotics would work, I began to think about the fragileness of life, and how short our time on this earth really is. Having it all doesn’t do us any good in the end, because we can’t take it with us. When we are gone, the stuff we accumulated over the years is gathered up in boxes and sold at auction. Those who buy our items don’t know or care to know anything about us.
The only thing that remains when we depart this earth is what we did to make a difference in the lives of others. The time we spent with our son teaching him how to hunt or fish will later be passed on to his son or daughter. Taking the time to teach a niece how to bake a cake might result years later in several cakes sold at a bake sale that allows the school to purchase new library books. Volunteering to lead a Sunday school class for underprivileged kids might be the one event that helps a child to rise above their circumstances to become a surgeon that saves countless lives.
There is no telling the number of lives that you could touch. Of course, this is only possible if one is willing to unplug the computer, turn off the cell phone, ignore the email, and decide that work is not the most important thing in life.
Happy Thanksgiving. Make it your best one ever.